"So nice" mother in law?

I have a "so nice" mother in law. She wants to know everything, asks about our children plannings, our emotions, she is woryng about us all the time... Do we have ANYTHING to eat, did something bad happened on the trip, asks very personal questions and experiences me and my husband as some kids who can not take care of themselves. She is not interrested in our careers or friends. I feel so stupid and so disturbed when talking with her, but I can not do anything cause she is so nice, so helpless, doing everything "in good faith". I hate her. How to find a best way to make her respect our privacy and take some distance from us?
Answers:
Set boundaries and enforce them!

First, confront her about her behavior in a nice way. Don't lay blame on her; give specific examples of the behavior you don't like and why it annoys you. For example, "It makes me uncomfortable when you ask so many personal questions. (Insert examples of specific questions here)." Then, set your boundaries...for example, "The next time you ask a question that makes me uncomfortable, I will tell you so, and I will not answer it."

Follow through, gently reminding her of your conversation when she slips up. Also, you many want to put a limit on the number of times she calls/visits. Enforce those limits, too; say, "I'm sorry, but I have to go. As you know, I agreed to talk to you for 10 minutes, and that time is up now." If she shows up at your house, tell her, "Sorry, but we were just leaving." Then do so, even if you only drive around the block!

Of course, your spouse will need to support you in this and maintain the boundaries, too.

Good luck!

Dr. Barb Lesniak, http://www.bnlifeskills.com

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Move!! And do not tell where you are moving to.LoL!! Ummm , there really isn't anything to do , unles you can get your husband or yourself to talk to her.

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Tell you and your family are fine. Then ask her about her circumstances. I'll bet see is really worried about herself not you. It's just coming out that way.

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I have that same problem. Acutally, I HAD that same problem. I moved two hours away, but she still came for a while in the beginning. However, I started to make her feel unwelcomed in my house, and now she is not involved in our lives. Plus it's too far for her to travel all the time.

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i think you should just be grateful that you have a mother in law that is nice and well meaning and truely cares,but in return your talking about her behind her back, your the one that said that she's nice and why would she care about your friends? you need to lighten up and count your blessings that you have a "so nice mother in law" others don't .

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I have to agree with sweet qt.. I could not have said it any better! great answer!!

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You do not owe your mother-in-law an explanation about anything. Unless you want her to know something do not tell her anything. Your husband needs to step in and back you up on this. If she starts in, change the subject and do not discuss anything with her that you do not wish her to know. She may be nice but she is way too nosy.

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i agree with sweet qt and dixierock it's not about owing her an explanation she's trying to let you know that she's there for you no matter what you need whether if it's help with food or just somebody to talk to, if you don't want that then let her know , you said she's a so nice mother in law , your upset because she's asking you if you have anything to eat? did something bad happen on the trip? omg..will you get over yourself, if you do move and take the grandkids far from her, i hope you and husband will never get into a situation where you need her if somebody gets injured or fired or something like that coz even though you have a "so nice mother" in law she got a "so nasty daughter in law"